Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Heeeeeeeeeee's Back

Any regular reader of this blog knows the wacky political adventures of Ron Humphrey.

I've left Ron alone ever since he got the boot as a councillor. It's kind of a policy of mine to not have too much of a crack at private citizens, but since Ron has put up his hand for pre-selection for the marginal Labor seat of South Barwon he's back on the menu.

"What I bring to the debate is a track record of actually having Labor on the back foot."


Oooh sides do not split.

The only reason why Ron had "Labor on the back foot" was because whenever he opened his mouth, every ALP was in danger of knocking their head on a coffee table as they doubled up in laughter.

Maybe Ron was using a cricket metaphor, and the local ALP where on the back foot dispatching Ron's numerous waist-high full tossers over square leg and into the next electorate.

To further support his claim on Liberal Party pre-selection Ron made the following argument.
If the Liberal Party as a whole went out and picked their candidates with a track record of winning and giving a damn and going out to fight, it would put the party in an incredibly strong position to win government


"Track record of winning"? Is Ron kidding? Ron won his council seat by joining a cadre of cashed up pro developers and scraping through on their preferences. It was a fluke, and Ron got the arse ASAP. And now he thinks this translates into a "track record" of winning at state level.

I for one hope he succeeds in his quest for pre-selection. Ron is an endless source of material and he alone could end the Libs chances of winning in 2010 and 2013. ABC's Stateline and state political journos would have a field day.

My only concern is that the pre-selection will be just like the last one, in which Ron, according to one Liberal insider, lost 55-5 to an undertaker.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Who is using the Channel Nine brain at the moment?

Who would want to run a TV station in the current economic and media climate?

Advertising revenues are down, so are ratings, the audience is fragmented, and the young are flocking to the interwebs.

Despite being years behind Europe, digital technology will see multi channelling expand in this country, and internet TV is a bomb shell waiting to arrive with the broadband rollout.

Faced with these difficulties, the traditional TV stations have got to come up with something really good to attract an audience. Instead they offer crap like "Dance Your Ass Off" and it gets dragged after one week. Channel 9 simply haven't worked out that if kids want to watch shit, they can do it on the web which is filled with high quality crap without advertisements.

And the morons making the important decisions at Channel 9 think they have come up with a winner by getting the chk chk bogan to host a show.

News flash boys (and it is a boy's club) Chk Chk bogan was a flash in the pan internet hit. Her fans (if she has any left) don't watch the old media. Her fame was only ever going to be fleeting and the idea that this cobbled together show will be a success based on her fame is a joke.

I'm tipping the new Chk Chk boom show won't last a season.

If Webeloff has any brains, she would have a clause in her contract making sure she gets paid when the show gets inevitably dropped.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

That's not a roast. This is a roast.

In the lead up to the parliamentary vote on the emissions trading scheme, watching the anti-ETS forces is becoming a great spectator sport.

The three most outspoken opponents of emission trading are Senator "1.9%" Fielding, Wilson "Ironbar" Tuckey, and Barnaby "independent" Joyce.

The abo basher and the Christian Fundamentalist can only be described as Canberra's biggest clowns, but they are being given a run for their money by Senator Joyce.

The national party senator is a progressive conservative. In other words he admits climate change is real and man-made, but he argues that the ETS won't make a bit of difference and will cost hundreds of thousands of jobs.

It's a mainstream conservative argument, but Joyce has pushed the argument into the realms of make believe.

When it comes to an alleged $75 per head tax on cattle, this is Barny's response.

"Do you want to pay $150 for a roast and think that was an effective place for Australia to go, even though it did nothing for the global climate?


$150 for a roast, because of a $75 tax on an entire beast?

I can only assume this is Joyce's idea of roast beef

And he is the intellectual leader of the anti-ETS brigade!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Bring your wallets people.

At the end of June I wrote a post about the local Liberals not having their election funding paperwork up to date, and this week, I got a sneak peak at the invite to their next Geelong Club 500 fundraising dinner.

Aug 6, $85 at 74 Brougham Street, Geelong, for anyone who wants to know the details

The event is being organised by the one dimensional law and order buff Angelo Kakouros.

And here is the kicker, the Geelong 500 Club's latest invite actually says "we welcome cash".

When it comes to campaign fundraising, the Geelong 500 Club's activities set a new low in accountability and transparency.

Firstly, by channeling the funds through an associated entity, the real donors remain anonymous. Secondly, the Geelong 500 Club failed to declare the money they raised last year. There are no serious consequences for failing to obey the law, and now they are calling for cash.

What checks are there in this ridiculous system to stop an influential donor lobbing a block of cash to gain access to an MP or get policy changed.

Brown paper bags anyone?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Aryan poster boy



Is it just me who thinks Freddie Flintoff is a wanker and a racist?

Sure he can bowl but his celebrations are just self indulgent shit.

"Look at moi"

If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was posing to photographers so he could then sell a shit load of cheesey merchandise on retirement.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Strauss

Fucking cheat.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Bravo

Greg Sheridan's finest column

Read it. Sheridan has nailed the current economic and political climate in our northern neighbour.

And perhaps Sheridan might want to reflect on how Indonesia handles it's problem with Islamic terrorist differently than his buddy GWB. They don't lock away suspects in legal black holes. They don't have puffed up leaders taking the gun option first. They don't talk about being "with us or against us". They don't threaten to invade nations. They don't make up stories to bomb countries that don't sponsor international terrorism. And they do "talk softly and carry a very effective stick".

Thank God, SBY, Rudd, and Obama aren't bloody cowboys like their predecessors.

About the only good thing that will come out of the recent bombings is the violent radicals in Indonesia will have even less support now. JI will be wiped out within a few months. It will be a courts and minds operation, not some massive military effort.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Age of $$$

Richard Baker is a very good journo, and his most recent effort regarding On line Opinion pulling a story is no exception.

In short, Baker shows that On Line Opinion (stacked with a conservative board) has pulled a story by Greens MP Lee Rhiannon and academic Norman Thompson about Malcomn Turnbulls fundraising efforts.

The story ended up on New Maltida on July 15. Why the Age didn't link the story is anyone's guess, but I'm tipping it's got something to do with not giving their competitors a link.

It's a great story and should be spread far and wide. Unfortunately, it looks like The Age's profit motive (no matter how dubious) outweighs their obligation to democracy and the free flow of ideas. Ironic really, when the story is about democracy being for sale to the highest bidders.

Here is Rhiannon and Thompson's effort in all its glory.

POLITICAL DONATIONS 15 Jul 2009
No Such Thing As A Free Lunch With Turnbull
By Lee Rhiannon and Norman Thompson

Another dark and possibly stormy cloud is gathering over federal Opposition Leader Malcolm Turnbull today. The Greens democracy4sale investigation team has uncovered some unusual techniques used by the would-be prime minister to amass $1.1 million in the run-up to the 2007 federal election. These most recent revelations about the member for Wentworth's fundraising efforts could prove highly embarrassing to Turnbull and further erode public confidence in his judgement and leadership qualities.
Concerns for Turnbull's re-election prospects could well have been the impetus for the formation of the organisation known as the Wentworth Forum in the lead-up to the 2007 election. The boundaries of the Wentworth electorate had been changed to include Labor and Greens strongholds in Darlinghurst, Potts Point and Woolloomooloo. This traditional Liberal stronghold was now seen as marginal — with Labor having some chance if they picked up Greens preferences. And so the Forum was swept into being. It is Turnbull's key fundraising body and a veritable cash cow.

Turnbull's fundraising efforts have been largely managed by his friend — and veteran Liberal Party fundraiser — Michael Yabsley. With their intimate knowledge of how to tap rivers of gold from wealthy Australian donors, these two have proved to be a formidable team.

Yabsley brought considerable experience to the task of establishing the Wentworth Forum. Significantly, as Chair of the NSW Liberal Party's Millennium Forum, Yabsley introduced a new style of political fundraising in Australia, one which put access to leading politicians centre stage when donations were solicited. Donors are able to make direct donations to the Wentworth Forum or they can become one of several types of Forum member, each with different levels of access to Turnbull. There are five categories of membership with different costs associated with each one: Member ($5500), Sponsor ($11,000), Patron ($16,500), Benefactor ($25,500) and Governor ($55,000).

When the Wentworth Forum was set up, Turnbull was environment minister in the Howard government. The workings of the Forum provide a clear insight into how donations can be used to buy access to a politician. A Wentworth Forum Member receives one seat at larger events organised by the Forum and tickets to three boardroom events. In contrast, a Governor gains a package of events, including hosting boardroom events, two tables at larger events, seating at all boardroom events and attendance at the Governors and Benefactors Dinner.

The individuals who have contributed to the Forum are a Who's Who of Sydney's finance, law and property worlds. At least 17 — including Turnbull himself, who has donated catering for Forum events — have been listed at least once during the past three years in the list of Australia's 200 richest people, published annually in the Business Review Weekly. They include Frank Lowy of Westfield, Harry Triguboff of Meriton Apartments, former Macquarie Bank head Allan Moss, Phil Green, the former CEO of the failed investment company Babcock and Brown, the gaming machine manufacturer Len Ainsworth, John Symond of Aussie Home Loans, Charles Curran of Capital Investment Group and the property developer Bob Rose.

Kerry Stokes recently became a joint member of the Forum with William Warwick, who used Stokes' Australian Capital Equity contact information when he joined. Warwick contributed an even larger amount through Jefferson Investments. The latter company was directed by the late Kenneth Parker, Stokes's right hand man. While Parker was alive, Jefferson Investments and associated companies donated over $1.5 million dollars to political parties in Australia — largely to the Coalition.

Although Turnbull has elsewhere argued against foreign donations to Australian political parties, the Wentworth Forum was able to accept $64,000 from the wealthy American Peter Briger, Chairman and Director of the controversial "vulture company" Fortress Investment Group.

Throughout 2007, the money rolled in for Turnbull; the Forum raised over $1.1 million for his re-election campaign. A total of 92 individuals joined the Forum in this period, mainly as Members or Sponsors. There were only 10 people among the Patron and Benefactor group and one Governor. The latter was Bob Rose who listed his company as Coastal Hamlets, the development company for the controversial Catherine Hill Bay project.

Bob Rose's companies did not donate to the Liberals after the 2007 election and Rose hasn't renewed his Wentworth Forum membership. This change coincided with the federal Coalition losing government. Rose's companies are generous donors to NSW Labor and have given almost $120,000 since mid–2007. Last March, the Minister for the Environment, Peter Garrett's findings, allowed the Catherine Hill Bay project — which involves the development of some 700 homes — to go ahead.

Turnbull's large war chest for the 2007 federal election was subsidised by almost $72,000 of his own money, mainly spent on the production of campaign material and direct mailing. Because of the electoral funding rules it is not possible to determine either how much the NSW Liberal Party spent on the Wentworth election or exactly how much Turnbull spent on his campaign. The estimates from other parties of the money he spent based on the amount of campaign materials produced and mailouts to electors range from $1.1 million to $1.5 million.

The Forum continues to raise money for Turnbull. The latest figures for the six months up to December 2008 show that it raised over $300,000 for the 2008–2009 year. Most of this money was from membership renewals, which provide the many levels of access to Turnbull. Only about $17,000 came from direct donations. More money will be received throughout 2009 as people renew their memberships.

One of the more contentious donors to the Forum is British American Tobacco Australia (BAT). Early on, only small amounts of money were paid by BAT for attendance at fundraising events. Then in December 2008, Bede Fennell, who is the Head of Public Affairs for BAT Australia, paid $8250 for a half-year Patron membership in the Forum to take effect in 2009. A further $16,500 was paid for a Patron membership in 2009–10. The Liberal Party reported this money as received from BAT.

There has been considerable controversy about political parties accepting donations from tobacco companies. After a strong community campaign in 2004, then federal Labor leader Mark Latham announced a ban on his party accepting tobacco related donations. The Greens have never accepted such money. But since mid–2007 the NSW Liberals have taken almost $175,000 from tobacco companies.

The Wentworth Forum activities do not sit easily with Turnbull's earlier reform zeal for electoral funding when he was a humble backbencher.

In a February 2005 email to Woollahra councillors, he went on the public record in opposition to donations from companies and other groups. He wrote, "no political donations should be allowed unless they are: from citizens and/or persons on the electoral roll (i.e., no companies, unions, associations etc); subject to a cap; and donors should certify that the donation is either their own or their spouse's money and has not been given to them by a third party."

Interestingly, in these comments Turnbull did not mention a cap on a candidate's own money, which leaves him, as a very wealthy individual, with a distinct advantage. He spent over $600,000 of his money on the 2004 election. It is not known if the NSW Liberal Party also spent funds in Wentworth since this information is not required to be disclosed to the Australian Electoral Commission.

In his time as federal Opposition Leader, Turnbull has thwarted electoral funding reform, quite possibly judging that the current system gives the Liberals an advantage. When federal Labor and the Greens combined in 2009 voting to ban foreign donations and make contributions from other sources more transparent, the Coalition and Senator Fielding defeated it in the Senate.

Turnbull's recent actions show that he is no longer a voice for electoral funding reform. He has no interest in turning off the Wentworth Forum's river of gold.

State of stupidity part 3

In the last two minutes of the "State of Origin" last night, viewers were treated to the following.

2 wild brawls
2 sin bins
One person getting sent off
A bunch of gorillas pointing fingers at each other
Queensland deliberately giving up the ball on the first tackle so they could smash the opposition fullback.
A guy being stretchered off unconscious
And a moronic commentator cheering it all on, and hoping they could hold another game next week.

And if you listened really carefully, you could here champagne bottles being popped by those who promote soccer in this country.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

50-100. Wow what a dynamic grassroots movement!

It's been a genuinely crappy weekend for wacky conservatives.

Harmony Day in Melbourne was a roaring success, proving again that multiculturalism works.

Dick Cheney is in more shit than a Werribee Duck. (Werribee being the location of Victoria's biggest sewage plant)

The guy who should have been the US President in 2000-8 is in Melbourne and he is as popular as ever, and the current POTUS is wowing them in Ghana.

They thought Obama had blown the chick vote when this photo hit the wires


But it turned out that the French conservative president had a poor perving technique.

And worst of all, another boat of "illegals" has been picked up off the NW coast and virtually nobody wants to man the barricades.

But look on the bright side. The RWDBs will have a chance to protest against Al Gore tomorrow morning. Apart from professional skeptics like Leon Ashby and Jenifer Marohasyand fundies who don't believe in science, I reckon this mob will struggle to fill a phone box.

From the Climate Skeptics Press release.
ON Monday 13th July [the day after tomorrow] as 1,000 invited guests attend a breakfast with Al Gore at Docklands Peninsula [Melbourne] at 7am, an expected crowd of about 50 – 100 people will protest
.

Expected? I'm tipping 20.

Put your "expected" crowd in the comments.

Closest prediction wins a dinner for two with John Surname or Ray Dixon. Second prize is two dinners with JS and/or RD.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Father of the year

I was sitting on the couch this morning with the boy (aged 2 and 3/4).

He was sans pants (as usual) and playing with a clothes peg, when the following discussion took place.

The Boy: I'm going to put this peg on my pee pee.

BLL: I wouldn't do that if I were you mate.

The Boy: Why?

BLL: Cos it would probably really hurt.

The Boy (after weighing up the pros and cons): yeah, let's play trains instead.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Where the bloody hell are all the high powered US execs?

As someone who works in the Australian tourism industry, my heart sank when I saw the latest NZ tourism ad.
It was smart, funny and showcased NZ's natural beauty and friendly locals in a clean 30 second broadcast.

The ad was based in a ski hire shop with two people offering the customers so much more than just skis.ie great accommodation, wild adventure, spa treatments etc.

It offered subtle contrasts: sophistication and natural beauty, excitement and refinement, and fine dining in a relaxed atmosphere. The way the ad starred a Maori and a whitey, showed how the NZ can appeal to everyone.

Tourism NZ actually understand that they need to tailor their ads to specific markets.

And then we have Australia's most recent effort. Baz Luhrman's 90 second wank which is completely meaningless if you haven't seen his film. This of course came after the shambolic "Where the bloody hell are ya" campaign.

Then there was the get lost in Melbourne shite which looked like it was written by an abstract artist whacked out on magic mushrooms, LSD and a tranquilizer that should only be given to really sick horses.

Who the fuck basis a commercial on a negative idea like "getting lost"?

Here's an idea. Lets just get rid of fifth rate white elephants, understand that the world's people aren't all high-stressed US tossers like those in Baz's pile of vomit, and start plugging the fact that Australia is a damn good country to visit because we've got great sites, plenty to do, and friendly people.

I know Baz got $40 million for his ideas on how to sell Australia, how about Tourism Australia send me $1 mil for stating the fucking obvious?

Thursday, July 02, 2009

This is really cheap.

When the "King of Pop" kicked the bucket, a certain funeral home in Melbourne's east decided to make the most of the occasion.
They decided to sponsor a ceremony to "honour" Jackson as part of the most nauseating marketing campaign since Maccas decided to flog their junk food by linking it to ANZACs.

Here is how it worked. Set up a cheap-arse ceremony to get the punters in the door. Call all the newspapers, radio and TV stations to announce the event. Get a bunch of free advertising.

Under normal circumstances the chief of staffs at every TV news units should have told the organisers of this promo to fuck off, but, it's so cheap to send out a team to cover this utterly unnewsworthy event.

Hang your heads in shame Channel 9 The Hun and 10. At least Channel 10 didn't mention to company by name.

New Idea doesn't pretend to be anything other than a low rent rag for vacuumous ninnies. At least that makes them slightly more honest than the rest of the tabloid media.