Thursday, July 31, 2008

Searching for credibility

Every year global surf giant Rip Curl holds a World Championship Tour event titled "The Search". This "search" concept has been a marketing tool at Rip Curl for years, but the company's surf cred is taking an absolute beating during this year event.

Rip Curl's media team insist that every press release for this event goes out with the phrase "somewhere in Indonesia".

Who TF are they trying to kid? The event is being held at Uluwatu and Padang Padang, two places that are so well known they even have web sites and you tube productions.

Ulus was first surfed nearly forty years ago and you fly straight over the top of the break en-route to Denpasar airport. It has got to be one of the top five most well-known surf locations in the world, not to mention one of the easiest waves to get to.

The only thing Rip Curl are searching for at this event is a way to stop regular surfers pissing themselves laughing about the contest location.

M.I.A.

Peter Costello has been so busy writing his book, missing multiple Coalition meetings, and tossing up career choices, he's taking a well-earned break in Fiji.
The important question here is, for the last eight months, who the hell is representing the people of Higgins?

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Wind farm nonsense

When the Surf Coast shire councillors passed a motion approving the Winchelsea wind farm, the Landscape Guardians had a sook and said they were taking the decision to VCAT.

Noise was their big concern.

According to the modelling, the nearest house is going to get a decibel reading in the mid 30s. Most of the whingers live so far away, the wind farm will produce a mere 25db. ie barely detectable or "a whisper in a quiet library".

Sound levels in a normal room are 40-50dbs

So how are the residents going to hear the wind farm? They won't unless they are in a room where all the appliances are off (including the fridge) and nobody is talking. Oh and rain isn't falling on the roof, cars aren't driving by, planes aren't in the sky, and they don't have an open fire etc etc etc.

But now the obvious point. Wind farms only generate noise when it's blowing. The background noise from wind blowing through the trees and around house corners will drown out the sound of the wind farm. Go to one and listen for yourself.

And on the off chance that all the above factors come together in perfect alignment and residents still can't handle the "whisper in a quiet library", they could always buy a wind chime.

No fuck it. I'll buy every anti-wind farm "landscape guardian" in the shire a wind chime if they don't waste massive amounts of ratepayer's money with this ridiculous VCAT hearing.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Arseholes pimping their kids.

In typical republican style, GOP activists have made a negative shirt in their campaign against Obama.
Here is the caption on the two year old advertising board. “The mess in my pants is nothing compared to the mess Democrats will make of this country if they win Nov. 2nd.”

I'll see your imaginary mess and raise you four real ones.

1. The US banking system.


2. Iraq


3. The gigantic fuckup that was the preparation for, and rescue effort after a hurricane in the gulf


and 4. The devastating toll the Republicans have had on the family of US servicemen and women.


No wonder that kid looks worried with parent's like that.

Celebrity fat arse

Virtually every time the Herald Sun runs an obesity story this lady gets a look in.

It's a file shot that actually worries me. I hope the person doesn't read the Hun's web site.
Maybe the Hun is performing a community service by trying to shock people into action? If that is the case they should use this photo instead.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Those wacky Euros

Barrack Obama pulls a crowd of 200,000 in Berlin to listen to him speak.

Tens of thousands of Germans protest against GWB.

Don't those beer-swilling, lederhosen-wearing, VW-makers know that the Republicans are far superior when it come to foreign policy?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

How to fund a lawyer's picnic.

Well folks, The Surf Coast is one step closer to getting our first wind farm thanks to a 6-3 vote in council to approve a project 10km NE of Winchelsea.

There were a handful of objectors to this project thanks largely to a ridiculous fear campaign from anti-wind farm activists the "Landscape Guardians".

After the six sensible councillors said "yea" some of these objectors vowed to take the decision to VCAT.

Leading up to the council vote, these objectors went nuts writing letters to the editors and submissions to council. Most of the arguments came strait from the "Landscape Guardians" playbook.

And here is how VCAT is going to go down.

The objectors are going to get flogged like naughty convicts under the protection of Samuel Marsden. All their bullshit arguments are going to get scrutinised by skilled lawyers and judged by very intelligent people.

The only people who are going to win are the lawyers.

The out of town anti-wind activists will encourage the local "Landscape Gaurdians" to take this case as far as it will go. This of course will cost plenty of money, but the important question is, how much money will the out-of-towners put up themselves?

Fuck all, that's how much. These professional activists know the score and will gladly watch others pay for the upcoming shambles.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

It's true

MIILLIONS of people throughout the world are starving and the saddest thing is that it doesn't have to happen.
The rush to find cheaper bio-fuels has seen millions of hectares of land previously used for basic food staples now being used for energy production.

Consequently, the price for food staples has risen globally by up to 50 per cent.

And if you haven't said, "what a load of crap" by now, you've lost the plot. The above two paragraphs are not my ideas, they have come from this editorial in the Geelong Advertiser.

Don't get me wrong, there are issues when it comes to bio-fuels production, but to claim that global food staples have seen a 50% price increase due to bio-fuels is just ridiculous. Fuel prices, fertilizer prices, market speculation, drought, agricultural land being taken up by cities, climate change, and changing diets in India and China have all caused an increase in food prices, but you won't see those little nuggets included in the debate.

It's a shame the editorial started off so badly, because it actually raised some very important topics about abusive TNC food businesses later on.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Exporting Weirdness

When this bloke left Australia and went to the USA, he raised the IQs of both countries, and, made both nations less weird,

Thank you and goodnight,

Friday, July 18, 2008

The denialists are getting desperate.

When the Australian published this article by a new global warming denialist, I got a little interested.

The author, Dr David Evans was a consultant to the Australian Greenhouse Office from 1999 to 2005. Gee that sounds impressive doesn't it?

Local RWDB Bernie Slattery thought all his Christmases had come at once and he sarcastically claimed Evans was a "heretic".

Dr Evans has found a willing audience at the cashed-up PR wing of the energy and minerals sector, known as the Lavoisier Group, whose board is miraculously stacked with the big names in mining.

But what exactly is Dr Evans' background? A quick look at his Lavoisier bio shows David has no formal training as a climatoligist, biologist, geologist or any other relevant science in the field of global warming.

According to the Lavoisier Group Evans has got a PhD in electrical engineering, worked on software at the Australian Greenhouse Office, and plays the stockmarket.

World champion denialist Jennifer Marohasy claims Dr Evans was an accountant at the AGO. FFS people, get your story straight.

And now back to the accountant's, or is it the engineer's argument. Dr Evans claims that global warming doesn't exist because there is no evidence of a "hot spot" 10 kilometers up in the atmosphere over the equator.

That's so cool for people who live at 33,000 feet above the equator but back here on earth it's a different, and very real story.



You denialists have just got to move on. When the vast majority of trained specialists claim global warming is real and it can actually be measured, denying rising temps due to greenhouse gas emissions makes you look like a bit of crank.

Modern conservatives, like GWB and Doc Nelson, are showing you the way. You've got to recognise global warming and then argue that it's all too hard to do anything about it.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Welcome to the Geelong Advertiser's "brave new world" of mainstream interactive journalism.

Their self back-slapping editorial has made some pretty big calls.

WELCOME to your Geelong Advertiser this morning. For the first time today a major Australian newspaper has given its readers unparallelled (sic) access to the news columns and the decision-making process.


As Sir Humphrey Appleby would say in Yes Minister, "it's a brave move sir".

I will be the first to acknowledge that the Addy has become more interactive. Readers can now submit a photo for publication. Does this allow a much wider choice of images to choose from, or are they just trying to save some cash on photographer's wages?

The Addy also has a reader's champion and bully wall section. While increased interactivity is positive, this is more ACA than Walkley-winning stuff.

The editorial goes on...
For more than 160 years, the Geelong Advertiser has proudly proclaimed from its masthead that it is The Voice of Geelong. It is, if you like, reflecting the views of Geelong people.
From today that has never been more the case.


Why does the Addy still have overwhelmingly conservative opinion pages? The people of Geelong have spoken at the ballot box. The conservatives haven't got one local MP at state or federal levels. If the paper truly represented the people of Geelong the editorial page would be 30% centre, 30% conservative, 30% centre left and 10% environmental left, and not dominated by the Sydney-based Piers Akerman and other hard right wingers.

The point of the exercise is to give readers _ that's you _ a greater say in how the newspaper is presented to you each day.

Why then was the feedback poll web page down the other day and non-existent (or impossible to find) today?

The internet is a wonderful thing and now makes it possible for journalists to interact more closely with our audience.

Get real guys, the Addy rarely has feedback forums on their site, and your journos never publish their email addresses at the bottom of articles.

The nature of journalism is changing fundamentally, propelled by the advent of citizen journalism and blogging. People, rather than consume mainstream media, have created their own and it is a powerful voice.

Didn't the Geelong Advertiser bag the local bloggers in their paper last year?

The Advertiser than goes on about, "a conversation that demands true engagement," "the rise of community engagement and conversation for the common good." and "The conversation has just begun. Today, we want to know what you think."

If this was true, the Addy would put a feedback section under this editorial.

I'd gladly tell the editors they are either, "full of shite" or, "seriously need to lift their game".

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Breaking religious news

The pope has just revealed some amazing news via his text message to the faithful.

“Young friend, God and his people expect much from u because u have within you the Fathers (sic) supreme gift: the Spirit of Jesus - BXVI.”


There must be more than one God.

No Spin vs Reality

With the PM looking like defying the Garnaut Report by reducing petrol excise to offset the increase in bowser prices due to emissions trading , the ALP's spinmeisters have gone M.I.A.

This of course isn't an accident. This policy is actually impossible to justify because it entirely removes the reasons for an ETS in the first place. Not only does this policy send no price signals on the price of fuel, it actually spends the money raised in an attempt to combat carbon pollution on encouraging carbon pollution.

This idiotic move is also anti-public transport. By not reducing motorists demand for fuel, the government must put further pressure on other greenhouse gas producers to achieve targets. This of course means an even higher cost for electricity, which leads to higher costs to public transport owners, which of course makes doing the right thing even more difficult.

I just wish the ALP told it like it is rather than announcing a stupid policy and not defending it. Where is Garrett and Wong? Why aren't they saying, "Yeah we know this is dumb, but excise offsets isn't about climate change at all. It's about politics. We are worried about Nelson screaming "petrol prices" like an Alan Jones for the next three years. This policy is just a sap to motorists who want to do something about climate change by not changing their behaviour at all. We have no confidence in our ability to sell a complex message to the Australian people, and we all think the Australian voters are greedy short termists who don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves."

Thursday, July 10, 2008

10 reasons why Torquay doesn't need a new pokie venue

When the Surf Coast launched a protocol to guide planning applications for new gambling venues, I was disturbed by the loose conditions for the location of proposed pokie dens.

It didn't take a genius to understand that the new conditions could be easily met, and a new venue could be brought into Torquay/Jan Juc.

Since then, the council has approved poker machines numbers at the Torquay Golf Club to increase from 40 to 55.

There is also a strong push by some "community" clubs and councillors for a "centralised venue", with poker machine profits going back into local clubs.

As gambling licences can cost approximately $100,000, a consortium of clubs would be required to get this proposal off the ground.

And here are 10 reasons why the hole (pun) thing is a terrible idea.

1. Problem gambling. Perhaps those behind the proposal would like to sit in a Gamblers Anonymous meeting and actually look at how these machines destroy lives. I've done it for an article and believe me it was shocking.

2. These clubs are bloody ugly.

3. Gambling halls can cross subsidise their food, and local restaurants without gambling revenue will be at a huge disadvantage.

4. There would be a huge decline in property values around any gambling venue.

5. The tourism industry needs something to differentiate Torquay from Melbourne. A poker venue certainly doesn't do that.

6. The venue must be away from shopping strips. This means an entirely new problem area for police. Where's it going to be? The footy club, fishing club, surf club? Resources are already stretched.

7. Already over stretched community service departments in Torquay will see even more pressure as a result of the damn machines.

8. The local economic benefits of gambling machines are a sham. A very large proportion of the revenues head out of town into Spring Street coffers.

9. These venues take up a lot of valuable land. Why TF are people promoting valuable land be set aside for poker machines when we don't even have a high school?

10. The idea that local sporting and "community" clubs have a spare $100,000 for a licence is a load of bollocks. Who's going to fund the building? The answer to that question is nobody when pokie revenue is going to someone else, unless of course the developer gets a nice big fat "management" fee.

Am I the only one who has a sneaking suspicion that the community is getting buttered up here? Am I the only one who thinks a pokie venue has already been signed, sealed, and is about to be delivered into a town that doesn't want it?

PS And if any sports club I'm involved in wants anything to do with this stupid idea, I'll take my bat and ball and play somewhere else.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Talentless fools

Belinda Neal is a goose, but she can take comfort in the fact that she isn't the biggest idiot in Federal parliament.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Brendan's great, a wait, maybe not.

On Monday, opposition leader Brendan Nelson abandoned his support for an emissions trading scheme until the rest of the world signed up.
About a nano second later, Andrew Bolt and his supporters had an enormous love in about the, "brave but politically savvy call by the Opposition Leader".

"There’s (a) train wreck heading for Rudd and his environmental pead (sic) brains, and the climate change issue is it."
"HOORAY!! At last a policy worth voting for!! GO, Brendan!! Next move--an independent review of climate science and stop the worship of the IPCC"
"Onya Nellie, way to go for sure. Dump on the greenies… force a clear difference between Labor and Libs that folks can actually see."


It was basically mass mutual masterbation for the RWDBs.

So what exactly are the wankers saying now that it looks like the coalition supports an emissions trading scheme in 2012?

**crickets chirping**

Monday, July 07, 2008

Eating their own in NSW.

Thanks to wiki.

This is a dead man walking.

And I sincerely hope Michael Costa stays onboard the H.M Iemma due to this effort as well.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Is Stephen Fielding for real?

Back in 2004, the Victorian ALP did one of the most ridiculous preference deals in the history of Australian politics. Because of this deal, Family First's Stephen Fielding won a Senate seat on 1.9% of the vote despite the fact the Greens won 9%.

For the last three years Fielding has been a running joke in Canberra, but now he holds the balance of power and the magnitude of that preference deal is about to hit home.

Let's take the crucial issue of climate change.

The Libs certainly don't look like offering bi-partisan support to combat climate change, and that means Fielding's vote will be crucial.

Here is Fundamentalists First's latest statement on the upcoming carbon trading scheme.

Family First senator Steve Fielding... says the fuel excise should be cut to compensate for higher prices under emissions trading.

"An emissions trading scheme will definitely push petrol prices up, but (a cut in) petrol taxes will bring them down. So, I think cutting petrol tax does make sense even more so today, given the Garnaut report," Senator Fielding told Network Ten.


He clearly hasn't got a bloody clue about the emissions trading scheme's primary goal is to change people's behaviour through price adjustments.

Ironically Fielding sent out a press release titled, "Is Labor Fair Dinkum About Cutting Greenhouse Gases?" on June 30, 2008.

If he was "fair dinkum" about cutting green house gases he wouldn't be pushing for price reductions for petrol. But that is exactly what he has been doing virtually non-stop since oil prices started to rapidly rise.

Here are just a few of his press releases urging for a cut in petrol excise.
Jun 27, 2008 Government Profits From Skyrocketing Petrol Prices
Jun 19, 2008 Are There Closet Supporters Of A Petrol Tax Cut In The Rudd government Too?
Jun 06, 2008 Climate Change Is A Social Issue, Not Just An Economic Issue
Jun 02, 2008 Big Oil Giants Squeeze Independents
May 27, 2008 State Governments Holding Motorists To Ransom
Governments are more interested in a tax squabble than relieving petrol pain
May 25, 2008 Rudd Government Enjoys A $100 Million Petrol Tax Windfall
May 23, 2008 PM Can Do More To Help Families - Cut Petrol Tax
May 21, 2008 Petrol Tax Cut Will Help Pensioners and Put Downward Pressure On Inflation

I could go on but you get the message. Four press releases in one week. This is simplistic populist non-sense aimed at selfish voters who can be bought for 10 cents a litre. Damn the environmnetal and budgetary consequences.

Fielding has invested so much political capital on cutting petrol excise, he is never, ever going to pass a climate change bill that doesn't exclude petrol from carbon trading.

Thanks a fucking lot the Victorian ALP. Your vile preference deal with religious fundamentalists is going to massively impact Australia's answer to the most crucial issue on the planet.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Christopher Hitchens is WATERBOARDED


Now that Christopher Hitchens has come out and said waterboarding is torture, I have a question. How many of you other right wing mother fuckers want a go?
Tim? Andrew? Piers? Downer?

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Local elections

In November, Surf Coast residents will be voting for new people to represent them at a local government level.

Most Australian voters don't pay attention to local politics, and with single ward elections, absolute shonks get voted in. These shonks usually come in two forms: developer shonks and power trippers. Media coverage of local elections is very patchy at best, and it usually focuses on shit-fights between candidates.

Issues are barely touched, and the local media rarely look at the back room deals and campaign funding arrangements for candidates.

BLL will try to offer a little more depth to the coverage, and I will endorse candidates if they satisfy three criteria.

1. They are prepared to work hard.
2. They understand the issues.
and 3. They aren't bent

The first candidate to publically nominate is Joe Remenyi. Joe's been writing letters to the editor lately and they indicate he is willing to have a red hot go. Currently there is no indication that he is bent, but his letters clearly indicate Joe doesn't understand the how rates are calculated.

Joe argues that "Every ratepayer on the coast is acutely aware of how property rates have escalated with property values...". Sorry Joe, total rates collected by shire is determined by council budgets and not property values. If a shire chooses to spend less money, rates will go down even if market values go up. Joe may as well have written, "Every ratepayer on the coast is acutely aware of how property rates have escalated with the value of diamonds".

This is really basic stuff. Mr Remenyi could become a good councillor, but he is going to have to show a much better understanding of this critical before he gets my seal of approval.

In the Poo

When the Poo got himself into trouble surfing at Winkipop today, he only has himself to blame.

The surf was solid, the sweep was running hard, and surf photographer Steve Ryan warned the Poo about paddling out where he intended to.

Surfing is a risky activity and surfers must calculate what is an acceptable risk. When an experienced surf photographer, who makes a living watching waves warns you not to do something and you ignore him, then you've only got yourself to blame.

I surfed through the "drama" and can safely say the Poo made numerous mistakes to put himself in that position, and he didn't take plenty of opportunities to get himself to safety.

The first crucial mistake the Poo made was choosing a break that was beyond his capabilities. I'm very happy he made it out with only a few cuts and bruises, but I'll be a lot happier if this episode sends a warning to other surfers about paddling out to the most dangerous break on the coast.

Inexperienced surfers out at Big Pop is going to end in tragedy before too long.