The sky is going to fall in.

Independent Victorian state MP, Craig Ingram, has sent shockwaves through the packaging industry by daring to suggest that a 10 cent deposit on drinks containers may actually be beneficial to society.

"Lion Nathan corporate affairs director James Tait warned that a container deposit scheme could add more than 10% to families' weekly grocery bills."

This figure must be based on a hypothetical family whose only sustenance is beer, pre-mixed spirits, and soft drinks.

10% increase in weekly grocery bills? Pulease. It's a pity the journo didn't ask James how he came up with that fantastic figure.

"Industry's view is CDL (container deposit legislation) is very expensive," said Russell Peel from the packaging stewardship forum of the Australian Food and Grocery Council.

Despite industry whinging, CDLs have had some great outcomes for society, and the sun still rises in the East and sets in the West in places with deposits on drinks containers.

Litter is reduced, recycling rates go up dramatically, organisations such as sporting clubs and the scouts have raised significant amounts of money, and unrefunded deposits can be used for environmental causes.

They are extremely popular in Europe and even the USA. In some parts of Africa, the container is worth more than the beverage, and you can't take away the bottle. 100% recycling. No wonder the plastics and glass industries are shaking in their boots.

In Australia, the packaging and brewing industry fight tooth and nail to stop any deposit schemes. Castlemaine Tooheys took the SA government to court 15 years after they introduced a 5c deposit on drinks containers.

With the current Ingram proposal, the Liberal Party has shown the environmental courage only oppositions have, and they have expressed their support for CDLs. Of course it would be a totally different story if they were in power and had to repay the beer and plastics companies' very generous campaign "donations".

So now the ball is in Peter Garrett's court, and he doesn't seem very keen to hit it.

"Federal Environment Minister Peter Garrett's spokeswoman, Mali Stanton, said there were no plans for a national roll-out of container deposit legislation,"

I'll pay 2 to 1 for anyone who wants to back Labor doing the right thing and introducing a nation-wide CDL. I'm pretty confident the ALP's green spin is just that.

Is their anyone out there who thinks Peter Garrett isn't a complete sell out?

Bets anyone?

Damn you Greenpeace

Damn you Greenpeace for your tactics in the battle to save whales in the Southern Ocean. Damn you for boarding the Japanese ship without the captain's permission.
Damn you Greenpeace for being skilled manipulators of the media, and damn you Greenpeace for not fighting the Japanese whalers fairly.
Just about now most readers will think that I have completely and utterly lost the plot. I haven't, and I do know realise that it was the Sea Shepeard Society, and not Greenpeace, who actually sent their members to board the Japanese boat.
I was just paraphrasing a howlingly embarrassing editorial in the print edition of Thursday's Herald Sun.

And did the Hun correct the error today? Nooo way. That would actually mean they made a massive and highly defamatory mistake.

There is more chance of a Howard apology to the Aboriginals than a hun apology to their readers.

Go to the tennis, and get maced for free.

I have a sneaking suspicion the Victorian Police have just signed a deal with the New Zealand Tourism Association.
WTF were they thinking? Spraying tennis fans in front of an international audience.
Can you imagine the damage done to our tourist industry when that sort of shit is beamed around the world?

If I was working for the New Zealand Tourism Industry, I'd make an advertisement starring the Cronulla rioters, Dr Haneef, and the Victorian Police.

The final piece of dialogue would be "Visit enzed, it's nicer and safer than Australia."

Are youse lot bogans?

Take the BLL test. They more points you accumulate the greater the level of boganicity.

Do you:

1. Drink premixed spirits on a regular basis? 5 points.
2. Own a blue singlet or moccasins? 5 points.
3. Play lotto instead of investing in super? 10 points.
4. Have a "love it or leave" Aussie flag on the car? 50 points.
5. Use the terms youse when not referring to female sheep? 10 points.
6. Carry your cigs in your sleeve? 45 points.
7. Have a pair of Ugh boots? 5 points.
8. Wear them in public? 15 points.
9. Advertise what type of alcohol you drink on the back of your car? 25 points. Plus 50 point bonus if the advertisement is in flag format.
10. Have a degree? - 10 points
11. Listen to MMM or Neil Mitchell? 10 points.
12. Think ACA or TT is quality journalism? 30 points.
13. Wear surf clothing despite never having ridden a board in your life? 5 points.
14. Think "foreign beer is shit". 5 points.
15. Think Chappelle Corby is a genuine Aussie hero who is a victim of Sharia law. 200 Points

Have you ever:
1. Named a child Paris or Britney? 50 points.
2. Named your children Paris and Britney? 200 points.
3. Passed out at the horse races? 15 points.
4. Spewed in a cab? 5 points.
5. Been arrested for public drunkeness? 10 points.
6. Pissed in a dirty clothes basket due to drunkenness? 30 points
7. Bought a muscle car or V8? 15 points. Deduct 10 points if the car is definitely needed for work. ie towing heavy shit.
8. Voted on Australian Idol? 10 points.
9. Watched Big Brother on the internet? 10 points.
10. Taken an Aussie flag to the one day cricket? 10 points.
11. Smuggled alcohol into the game? 15 points.
12. Been ejected from the MCG, SCG etc. 65 points.
13. Respected Anna Corin, Naomi Robson, or Karl Stephanovic? 30 points.

And now the points scoring system.

0-10 points. You are definitely not a bogan. In fact you probably should get out more.
10-20 points. Class yourself as a normal bloke or average sheila.
20-50 points. If you are over 40 then you're a bogan. Under 25 you're on your way, and between 25 and 40, the jury is still out.
50-100 points. I'm tipping you are called Shane or Shazza and you've named your kids after a fast car.
100+ points. You have most likely answered "yes" to some high scoring questions. I'm tipping arson is a family activity.
400+ points. Please email me, I want to cast you in a film.

Tim Blair for the day.

I was toying with the idea of being Timmy Blair For The Day (TM BLL 2008).

It seems pretty easy really.
1. In the morning you just scan right wing web sites and then link some "interesting" articles that support your narrow view of the world.

2. Add some snide commentary about progressive voices.

3. Let the Blairites go nuts on the site.

4. Pick up the paycheque and then spend it at the pub with all the other working class Australian heroes. Hopefully army heroes.

5. Go to bed at night knowing you make some good cash spreading bitterness.

But to write like Blair, first I must think like Blair.

*Close eyes* and say "I'm a mildly literate bogan from Werribee who makes a living writing for an illiterate band of angry redneck misfits".

So here goes.

In another blow to the global warming industry, iguanas are freezing themselves off trees in Florida. It's also snowing in the California Rockies in January, and I heard it's bloody cold in Northern Canada at the moment.

I wonder when Al Gore will hand back his lefty luvving Nobel Peace Prize?

Traceeeeee Hutchinson, the typical lefty terrorist lover, still wants to have David Hicks' babies because she wants to protect poor young naive Dawood. Perhaps she should hang out with the families of those killed in the Bali bombings a bit more to see what they think of Hicks?.

Talentless ABC hag Marieke Hardy, has also got the hots for terrorists, but laments the fact that the evil Americans fed Dawood so well.

Gosh, there are so many moonbats in cyberspace I simply can't choose which one to attack today. They'll probably all end up working for the ABC (All Bloody Commies) or The Aussie Pravda, aka Fairfax.

*ends*

I would really like to see progressive bloggers take up the challenge by being lunatic Blairites in the comments section and/or nominating themselves to be Tim Blair For The Day (TM) tomorow.

PS. Of course I'll be kicking out any smartarse lefty trolls.

ALP's anti-bullying strategy

The new communications minister Stephen Conroy has launched a brave new attack on school bullying by introducing a new Internet Provider filtering system to protect children from on-line porn.

The new filter is expected to change the dynamics of the school yard and the workplace.

"With porn being blocked to average people, nerds will become the new gods of the schoolyard. They will be the ones who can easily get around the filters" explained Senator Conroy.

"We are expecting a rapid drop in nerd bashing as a result of our program, and a resurgence in Playboy and Penthouse sales" said Senator Conroy.

IT experts are also thrilled at the new filter.

"We used to be laughed at by our fellow workers, but from now on, they are going to have to respect us if they want their porn. I will also make a killing downloading software that gets around these filters on my fellow worker's home computer." said one IT professional who refused to give his name.

The communications minister would not gaurantee a reduction in internet porn accessed by Australian kids, but he could gaurantee that Family First Senator Stephen Fielding would think this was a wonderful idea.

"If I burnt a couple of old pornos, Fielding would declare a moral victory for the nation. He honestly thinks teenage boys will stop looking at pics of naked ladies when this filter gets introduced".

Senator Fielding is thrilled at the new filter.

"God is very very happy that teenage boys will now see their first naked women on their wedding nights" said Senator Fielding.

My next mission is to have sex education, condom vending machines, abortions, the pill, and the Greens bannished from God's beautiful earth.

The new filter is expected to slow down internet speed significantly and hamstring our economy for decades.

Just shoot Hicks yourself

With stories like this, surely it's only a matter of time before some nutter knocks off ex-Gauntanomo Bay inmate David Hicks.
Tory Sheperd, Rob Malinauskus, and Nick Henderson's display of stunningly irresponsible journalism will get someone killed before too long. The editor of the Adelaide Advertiser also demonstrated an amazing lack of judgement by publishing a photo of the house Hicks was allegedly staying at. No surprise to find out he moved out soon after the journos came knocking.

Sure they didn't give out addresses, but the Advertiser's sister paper published a "how we found Hicks's home in North Western Adelaide" story in their hard copy edition.

The tabloids have also been publishing Hicks death threats on their blogs.

Australia is full of Islamophobic maniacs who are willing to use violence against their perceived enemies. Surely, with a little help from the tabloid media, it is only a matter of time before one of these lunatics tries to bump Hicks off.