Friday Conservative Fucksticks Part 16.

First the formal part of the post.

Congratulations must go to Mirko Bagaric for winning the inaugural FCF reader's poll with a very healthy 43% of the vote. Mirko won for telling off people who campaign against the abandonment of legal principles because there are other more worthy causes. That is going to be a hard one to beat.

On to this week's nominations.

Firstly we have Cr Ron Humphrey from the Surf Coast Shire in Victoria. Now regular readers to this blog would think I have a fixation on Ron. Well it's true, but when he continually makes a complete arse of himself it's hard to let it go through to the keeper.

This week it became public knowledge that Ron tried to receive porn via a fax machine. Ron's been on a totally deluded campaign to close the clothing optional beach at Point Impossible near Torquay. First it was the indecent assaults at the beach that the police don't have any records of, then it was to protect the schoolies who don't even go to the nude beach. And now it is the gay beat he is worried about. Ron of course thinks that closing the clothing optional beach will instantly end the gay beat, but that is another matter.

During his campaign, Ron frequently talks with journos, and he told one of them that he would be interested in any evidence of the gay beat, and the journo could send it to his house. Why would anyone even think of getting a journo to send porn or gay websites to an elected officer over a fax? It's insane.

Unfortunately for Ron, the journo sent the fax to his mortal political enemy, Mayor Rose Hodge, and according to Hodge, her kids read the offending material.

Nice work Ron. He must have one hell of an ammo supply, because he shoots himself in the foot on a regular basis, and the councilor shows no signs of slowing up in the near future.

The next nomination is George W Bush.

The POTUS has finally admitted that the US isn't winning the war in Iraq.

And what is his next bomb shell going to be? Smoking gives you cancer?

So George's solution to the problem is to declare that "victory is still possible" by offering more of the same.

Re-evaluation of strategy my arse. George has just changed some personnel and adopted an even more unbelievable PR campaign.

Sticking with the Bush Administration, Dick Cheney has got to get a nomination for his praise of outgoing Secretary of Attack Donald Rumsfeld.

Here it is. "I believe the record speaks for itself: Don Rumsfeld is the finest secretary of defense (sic) this nation has ever had."

Gee and I thought taking your country into a shambolic illegal war for non-existent WMDs that costs $350 billion and has killed over half a million people would be frowned upon. Maybe it me who is out of touch.

John Howard gets another nomination for his dismissal of The Australian Institute's claims that bush fires are going to get so much more destructive with global warming.

Faced with a well-researched paper using highly credible scientists, our Prime miniature said (and I'm paraphrasing here) the Australian Institute have regularly criticized this government on global warming and so I'm not surprised they say these things. Full stop, end of discussion.

The midget didn't say the Australian Institute got it wrong. He didn't even try to debate them on their paper. He just ignored the science and irresponsibly batted on. Oooh the next generation is going to be rightfully pissed off.

And finally to Cerdic Hedd/Conan, the mad contributor to The Australian's reader feedback sections.
Read it and weep at the fact that this person's vote carries the same value as yours.

Cerdic Hedd (21 December at 01:06 PM)
Greenies are not only the arsonists behind this terrorism, they are also responsible for the mess in Iraq.
Check out google and you will find the pilots of 9/11 were actually backed by "“Friends of the forest"”, a covert communist group. Anyone who claims to like trees should be immediately crucified and that would basically fix everything.

Cerdic Conan of Sydney (21 December at 08:55 AM)
The Greens and their ridiculous policies have definitely led to the build up of fuel loads in the ground in many areas, which as we all know makes bushfires much worse and harder to control. The Greens contribution to this mess is akin to terrorism, and the harshest possible penalties should be applied to them.

Cerdic Conan of Sydney (14 December at 10:25 AM)
Peter Garrett is a lefty weirdo who is a throwback from the era of the "‘Nuclear Disarmament Party"’. Let Labor put him on the front bench, and drag their credibility down to ever lower levels. He can't even express the same policy views as his leader, Kevin Dudd.

Cerdic Conan of Sydney (06 December at 03:45 PM)
George W. Bush brought Saddam down in Iraq, and down he will stay.
He is a great President.
So just deal with it, lefties !

Cerdic Conan of Sydney (30 November at 04:59 PM)

In spite of years of inquiry by the Fitzgerald Royal Commission, poring over the minutest detail of Joh'’s government, the only single thing they could come up with to charge him with was one count of perjury! Talk about a witch-hunt! And this in spite of all the evidence they were able to gather against Terence Lewis (who did go to jail). Doesn't that tell you something? Obviously the charge against Joh was a politically motivated one, and of course it failed in court. This is something that still rankles with loony lefties like you, but you just need to deal with it and move on.

Happy voting.

Who is your Conservative Fuckstick of the week?
	Ron "send the porn to me" Humphrey
	George "we're not winning" Bush.
	Dick "I want to have Donald's babies" Cheney
	John "ignore the pending disaster" Howard
	Cerdic "la la la la la la" Hedd/Conan
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