Friday Conservative Fucksticks Part 1
It seems that regular Friday segments are all the rage in Melbourne's blogging community. Ms fits has here famous Q and A session on RYWHM, and Anonymous Lefty has a rather witty Dear Mister Howard section.
I've decided to join these two fine bloggers. Welcome to the first installment of Friday's Conservative Fucksticks (TM).
Before I begin, I would just like to highlight what FCF is all about. I will scan the world for the looniest conservatives for the week, and blog the result. They may be local, national, or international nutjobs, and I hope you get as much fun out of them as I do.
First off the rank we have an international conservative fuckwit. Despite huge funding and resources from corporate lobbyists, and despite the Washington establishment backing him all the way, Senator Joe Lieberman managed to lose preselection for the Democratic nomination in Connecticut. Hang on, did I just say Democratic? Yes folks, I did, but this "Democrat" is a total embarrassment to the party. Lieberman clapped and cheered Bush all the way as he fucked up Iraq. He built up a huge war chest of corporate donations, he surrounded himself by dry conservative hacks, and he has just had his arse handed to him by Ned Lamont and a group of web savvy progressive bloggers.

I would have liked to nominate Wilson Tuckey for the the first Australian Friday conservative fuckstick, but I've decided a group achievement is more appropriate. And it goes to the entire WA Liberal Party. What is it with these people? Wilson "I bash abos with an iron bar" Tuckey is their hero. The WA Libs keep supporting Ross Lightfoot despite him strutting around Iraq with a gun and sacks of money, and they are looking increasingly likely to dump Judi Moylan. Judi is one of those nice small L Liberals who actually believes kiddies shouldn't be detained indefinitely for daring to seek asylum in Australia. She obviously is totally innapropriate for the WA Libs.
But who is the big challenger? It is none other than One Nation candidate turned Liberal wannabe Jamie Falls. Jamie says he fell into "One Nation by accident, and fell out fairly quickly." Yeah right? The Libs have adopted One Nation's policy, and it was only a matter of time before they adopted their candidates as well.
Jamie, Ross and Wilson, great fucking party. NOT.

And now for a local (well at least for me) conservative fuckstick named Councilor Ron Humphrey. Sure I have blogged about him before, but as they say in the classics, when you are on a winner...
It been a bad week for Ron. About a month ago, a room that had been dug into the dunes at Torquay, was found right across from Ron's house. Ron screamed perverts and made up a new word. "Deprivates". He then screamed sexual abuse and demanded a nude beach a kilometer away have it's clothing optional status removed. It was a moral panic for the prudish types of Torquay. Unfortunately for Ron, the local coppers did not know of one case of sexual abuse from the area, so Ron called them names. Yesterday the kids who built their cubby came forward putting a rather large hole in Ron's campaign to get rid of sickos building homo lairs.
Ron also went on 3AW Wednesday afternoon bitching a moaning about councilors with too many fingers in the pie. Earnie Sigley may be called Mr Entertainment, but it is a pity he doesn't do any Mr Research. The councilors with their fingers in the pies were Humphrey's running mates.
Ron also bitched about a Labor-dominated council. What party are you from Ron? Not the Liberals? No?
But what I would really like to know is whether Ron took up a shire car for his little interview with Earnie. Using shire cars for personal trips is really really naughty. I hope someone checks the car pool records.

Until next week.